I’ve been thinking about our open adoption more than usual lately. (When you’re a birthmom, you never really stop thinking about your experience and what you’ve been through and your child, but there are times when it’s more top-of-mind than others). As I was driving home from work a few weeks ago in the rush of the evening commute, my mind started wandering…
My first realization was that my birth daughter, Deanna, will be turning 18 and graduating from high school next year in 2023 and HOW IN THE WORLD is that even possible? 18 is the age I was when I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant. I thought about what it will be like to attend her high school graduation and see her walk across the stage and accept her diploma. I thought about how I had walked across my own stage in 2005, very visibly pregnant, to accept my diploma. How strange to think that this all happened so long ago when it truly feels like only yesterday. Of course, I have thought about all of these things before, but now that her birthday is coming up in July, it seems so much more tangible and real.
My second realization was something I hadn’t thought about before. November 2004 was when I first discovered that I was pregnant. Which means it has officially been 18 years since this journey began for me. 18 years since life changed forever for me, for my family, for Don and De for and all of the people involved our open adoption equation. I’m not sure why I hadn’t thought of that before.
My third realization was how faithful God has been throughout everything! It hasn’t always been easy, but choosing life has always been worth it. I will never regret setting my dreams aside and choosing life for Deanna. And now I get to watch her succeeding and thriving as she follows her own dreams and the plans God has for her. Besides being sweet, smart and stunning, Deanna is an absolutely phenomenal (and TALL 5’11”) outside hitter who has been heavily recruited by big name colleges for the past few years. She recently signed a letter of intent to play Division I Volleyball at College of Charleston in 2023 which is so exciting!
Our open adoption has allowed us to stay connected and maintain a relationship over the years. Despite the distance barrier we’ve faced from living on opposite coats, it’s been pretty amazing to watch her grow up and see her thriving. And it’s so special that my 3 littles get to have a relationship with their big sister too. Now that she’s back on the East Coast, I’m hopeful we’ll be able to see more of each other while cheering her on during every step of what God has in store for her over the next 18+ years.